Impressions of South East Asia

It's been nearly a week since we boarded our plane in Bangkok and said goodbye to South East Asia...and hello to Micronesia and the scuba diving paradise of Palau. Having had some time to reflect on our experiences over the past two months in SE Asia, we wanted to share with you some highlights and insights about this remarkable region.

Preface: While we strove to experience the "local" culture of these countries, please understand that much of what we have witnessed has typically been on the backpacker path. We did have the opportunity to see the local way of life in snapshots, but much of what we experienced was what is readily available to travelers who transverse these amazing countries. Many of the influences of our blog come from our own observations and the instances when we were able to converse with the locals (random strangers, guides, friends of friends) and other travelers. We are sharing from our own personal experience and are not trying to put these people/cultures into a box, but only share what we have learned. Each person who comes to these places may come away with a different experience or perspective, and we welcome comments/insights from others who have spent time in these places. We always appreciate other viewpoints and know that many of our travel companions from this region are checking the blog - Enjoy!

Thailand
Of the three countries we visited in SE Asia, Thailand was by far the most developed - and the most touristed. And for good reason, the country has so much to offer in terms of its natural beauty - the picturesque beaches in the South to its mountains and jungles in the North. And its culture and people who are both welcoming and friendly. Bangkok is very much a modern city filled with shopping malls, high rise buildings and the shoppers and business professionals to fill them.

Some of the things we loved most, or thought were most interesting, about Thailand included:

People - having come from China where social etiquette is not highly valued, arriving to Thailand was a nice change in pace. Thai people are very respectful, always giving a warm greeting and a genuine "thank you." Many people, especially in the less populated areas, would stop to say hello or chat with us for a few minutes (many people speak at least some English). And if we ever looked a bit lost, within minutes someone would stop to ask us if we needed help or directions.

AMAZING Thai Massages on offer for about $6 an hour. Not to mention the variety of other spa services like manicures and pedicures for a very reasonable price.

Thai Food - spicy Thai curries, delicious soups and noodle dishes. And when we were craving Western, plenty of pizzas and burgers as well to cater to us tourists.

Shopping - everywhere you go in Thailand, you can find cool souveneirs, gifts, clothes, and more. We had a great time looking through different markets and bargaining to get great deals. Let's just say we had to send a very heavy box home via slow boat mail (so the post didn't cost us more than the stuff!)

The King - people in Thailand are wild about their king, and we are not exaggerating here. Every Monday, virtually everyone in Thailand wears yellow because the king was born on Monday and the day's color is yellow. At 8AM on Monday, the king's national anthem is played all over the country - we were in the Bangkok train station one Monday morning and everyone in the station stood up and faced the flag (and the king's huge photo next to it) while the anthem played. And when you see a movie in Thailand, before the main feature is played, the anthem is played while movie clips are shown of the king growing up and showing his kindness to the people. The king well loved because he has truly been the people's king ・he has always visited people all over the country and fought for causes that help the people. He has ruled for 60 years and is now 80 years old. Currently, and sadly, he is in the hospital with some medical issues. Everyday, upwards of 50,000 Thai people go to the hospital to sign a book to let him know they have visited and are hoping for his recovery. If only every monarch in the world had so much dedication!

Lady Boys - lady boy culture is something that is common throughout SE Asia and is well accepted. Lady boys are men who dress up as women (some are very convincing and attractive) and have the usual feminine characteristics. They may be transvestites or transsexuals (i.e., undergone various surgeries) and we assume many are homosexual. They are often part of the hilarious cabaret shows that you can view throughout the country. Unlike in Western culture, there is not really a social stigma around lady boys. In fact, they are embraced as a usual part of society and from the little we saw, do not face a lot of discrimination.

What we didn't like so much about Thailand:

The very apparent Sex Trade - it's not uncommon to see an elderly Western man arm in arm with a very young and cute Asian girl. In some cases they are prostitutes, in other cases they seem to be mail-order-brides. In certain known areas in Thailand, many a sick man (and perhaps occasionally woman) comes to take part in the rampant prostitution, sex shows, and underage exploitation. It's really very sad considering many of the girls entering this trade are either sex slaves (having been sold into it by family or suckered into it by lies) or feel they need to resort to the practice to feed drug addictions, or maybe even just to survive. It brought back memories of our visit to a museum exhibit we saw in Sweden on the expansive global sex trade - and makes one realize what a huge and devastating problem it is in the world.

The negative effects of Too Much Tourism - while tourism can bring many benefits such as money to boost an economy, there are also some downsides. In Thailand, there were times we felt we weren't far from home - Western fast food chains, retailers and even pharmacies were common place. Traditional ways of life are often diluted and changed and it can be hard to feel like you're getting a genuine "local" experience when everything is catering to the tourists and demanding vendors and scammers pop up at every corner to try and make a quick buck. And since some tourists can be quite demanding, some of the local friendly spirit can be diminished and replaced by people calloused by tourism. That being said, if you can get past or ignore some of these downsides, we would still highly recommend Thailand as a destination because it does have so much to offer.

Laos
This is a country that we had not been planning to visit. But after so many fellow travelers recommended it, we decided it was worth changing our route. And we weren't disappointed, Laos is probably what Thailand was like 20 years ago and turned out to be our favorite country in the region. While tourism (largely by backpackers) is becoming more commonplace, it is a bit easier to get off the beaten track and experience the local culture and people.

Some of our favorite aspects of Laos included:

People - like Thailand, the people in Laos were very friendly and welcoming, probably even more so. Everywhere you went, you were greeted by the locals with a smile, wave and "Sabaidee" (hello). Even when in the midst of hard bargaining, the locals were sure to keep it a friendly affair and often smiled and laughed with you. The tuk tuk drivers and shop vendors were not too aggressive or forthright in trying to get your business. The Lao people are extremely laid back, often preferring to hang out and chat with family and friends than to work too hard. And the children, oh, the children were wonderful! Full of energy, life, love and smiles. There were gangs of them everywhere and they always wanted to play (unlike other countries we've visited, they weren't interested in begging). The Lao people love children and have as many as possible - the percentage of pregnant women and the ratio of kids to adults is unbelievable. And despite large families living in small villages with very little to their names, it always seemed everyone was quite content and happy. In Laos, they seem to know what community is all about and they are graciously willing to let us "farlang" (foreigners) get a true glimpse at their lifestyle and culture.

Transport - we've already written an entire blog on this, but suffice it to say that getting around in Laos was one of the most interesting, and often fun, aspects of our travel there.

Food (and drink) - the actual Lao food is quite similar to Thai/Vietnamese food. And like in Thailand, many places have some Western food on the menu. What they have here that Thailand does not is a history of the French, which equals amazing coffee, pastries and baguettes. This may not be very traditional, but it certainly was delicious. And Lao coffee is amazing for anyone looking for good international blends. Beer Lao also deserves a mention as the local brew - we enjoyed this on many a hot day.

Backpacker Culture - as mentioned before, most of the travelers we ran into in Laos were other backpackers with similar ambitions to ourselves in seeing the world. In fact, from the time we arrived at the Thai/Laos border to the time we left the country, we hardly ever traveled alone. In each place we went, we met other singles, groups and couples on similar routes and would travel or hang out together for a few days. There were a number of international travelers who we met up with time and time again and really enjoyed getting to know them over the course of several weeks in various locations. Laos is still currently geared more to the rustic traveler, but unfortunately will probably change over the next 10 years as tourism increases. If you want to see a country in the region that still retains most of its original culture, come to Laos and come soon. (Sidenote: We were also told by many that Burma is similar to Laos with wonderful people. We would have loved to visit Burma as well, but unfortunately the recent events and violent government crackdown against its people has made it difficult to travel there for the time being. It's on our list of places to go back to though.)

Hammocks - let's just say that we spent a lot of time in these while in Laos doing what the Lao people do best, hanging out. And we loved it!

Our FAVORITE Experiences: riding and bathing elephants, drinking Lao coffee and eating pastries in Luang Prabang, tubing and swinging into the river near Vieng Viang, staying at a local village, going through the Tham Lot Kong Lo cave, playing backgammon and cards over breakfast and on rainy days, and relaxing in the hammocks in Don Det.

What we didn't like - honestly, there wasn't much we didn't like about Laos. The only thing I would mention, which is also true of other countries in the region, is the disregard for the environment. It is commonplace that people throw trash out the windows of moving trucks, buses and boats. Slash and burn methods in the rain forests are still quite common in Laos. The local people feel they need to do this to farm the land and support their families. The government and a variety of NGOs are beginning to address this issue with education and alternative and sustainable practices to help the local hill tribes make their living.

Cambodia
This country, more so than the others, left a lasting impact on us. What we learned here through visiting the historical sights of the Pol Pot regime, spending time with the local children and exploring the ruins of an ancient kingdom was both heartbreaking and uplifting. This was the country where we found ourselves reflecting the most - on poverty, war, humanity and hope. This was the country where we found ourselves feeling the most deeply - sometimes feeling so rejuvenated through the love of a child swinging her arms around us, or on the verge of tears at the many child beggars with their hands out for food. While Laos is technically a poorer country, the poverty in Cambodia is much more pronounced and the scars of their brutal recent history still loom.

It would be hard to sum up Cambodia in the same way that we have with Thailand and Laos. We loved so much about the country - again, we met many wonderful and kind people, we were inspired by the children, and we thoroughly enjoyed the sights and natural beauty. The ruins of Angkor Wat were breathtaking and it was amazing to think about what it might have been like during the height of the Khmer kingdom centuries ago.

But there was also a constant cloud of something deeper, something sad almost, tugging at your heart. The tuk tuk drivers were extremely desperate and aggressive for your business. There were children and beggars everywhere selling things to tourists, and they knew well the lingo of getting a deal and convincing you to buy. Cambodia has also been touched and changed by tourism, and with the popularity of Angkor Wat increasing, this is likely to continue. The people here are a bit more reserved and not quite as friendly and warm, with good reason if you consider their history. There are billboards asking people to get rid of their guns because they are no longer needed in the new, modern Cambodia. And in general, we did feel safe here and could see how the country is changing and growing in positive ways. However, if you were looking for it, there were still plenty of shady characters around willing to sell you some time at the local shooting range blowing up cows, give you drugs, etc. - but even these people are also just trying to make a living (and often supplement their $20-$30 a month income) to feed their families by playing off the former (and still remnant) corruption.

Cambodia's fledgling democracy is bringing hope to its people, but it's fragile and the past is not yet forgotten - probably never fully will be. Hopefully, Cambodia will be able to continue its move towards modernization and be able to improve the lives of its people.

To conclude this section on Cambodia, I wanted to share a snapshot of one of my personal journal entries that I feel embodies both of our emotions and thoughts at times while in Cambodia:

On the bus ride from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap, we stopped at a local rest stop with a restaurant and bathroom. I jumped off to use the facilities and get a coke. As I walked past the entrance to the open air restaurant, there was a boy of about 12 sitting cross-legged with a basket in his lap. His eyes were gone and his sockets were covered over with skin. Probably the result of a land mine. He sat there singing to himself and swaying to and fro. Occasionally, someone would drop some money into his basket and he would smile and say "kop jai" (thank you). I put a bit of money in his hand and then took a seat nearby to wait for the driver to unlock the bus so I could get back on.

As I sat there waiting, I watched the boy and found myself on the verge of tears. He was so sweet, so full of life. Even if he did get decent money from begging, his life could not be easy. His parents might use him as a tool to get money, or maybe he doesn't have parents. He probably can't attend school easily with his eyes and he will be forever disabled. Of course, he is not the only one with this fate in this country that has been shaken by war and tragedy. And there are also those like him all over the world - even in the USA. But on this day, as I sat and watched this wonderful little boy and saw his joy despite his pain, I could not help but love him - want to touch and hug him. It made it all so real - all the suffering we had learned about the past few days with the killing fields, the stories of the kids at the orphanage, the beggars everywhere we turned. This little boy made it real for me - made it so human, made me feel raw and so sad. Watching him made my heart hurt so much for him and for all the pain like his in the world - the unfairness, the atrocities. It all came up inside me and cumulated in a large bulge in my throat barely holding down my overwhelming emotion.

So that I didn't break down right then and there, I got up to go and get him a cold juice drink. I figured he must get thirsty sitting there in the heat and if the money he earned did go to someone else, at least I'll know he would be the one to enjoy this. I took it over to him and put it in his hands. I spoke to him in English, and to my surprise, he thanked me back in English. I wish now I would have tried speaking to him more, but I was so emotional that I didn't think of it at the time. I walked away and continued to watch him from the corner of my eye as I waited again for the bus driver. He didn't open the bottle or drink it right away. He held it in his hands, felt it, smiled a big grin and put it in his lap. Now and then, he would finger the top of the bottle and the straw alongside it and would smile again and go back to singing. I hope he did eventually enjoy it for himself. And I hope he could feel the love I gave it with and somehow know that I admired him - his joy and smiles despite his circumstance.

When I got back on the bus, I finally allowed myself to cry. As I sat there hiding in Eric's lap, I let my emotions overcome me and released the sadness that had been building the last couple days. It was a huge relief, but still frustrating because I felt so helpless. We can each do our part - and we can make a difference - but we can't fix it all. It's a hard reality to know that pain and suffering will always exist in the world. And even harder (but so important) to see it face to face.