Cooks Islands Week 1 – Wedding Legalities and Preparation

We arrived to the Cooks Islands on Sunday, Dec 16 at 4:30PM…after having left New Zealand on Monday, Dec 17 at 11:30AM. It always throws one a bit back crossing the International Date Line, but there is something quite pleasing about getting to “re-live” the day you just finished. Our first night was a bit restless, anxiously awaiting the arrival of my mom, Joni, at 6AM the next morning. It has been over 6 months since we’ve seen our family, so we have been very excited for these few weeks over Christmas and New Year. My mom came a week early to spend some solo time and help with wedding preparations.

Getting Adopted By a Local Family

We were very pleased to find that the guest house we had chosen to stay at turned out to be a family affair. The house is formally owned by Mama Turi – a wonderful woman who became like a grandma to us. Mama usually lives on an outer island called Aitutaki, but was in Rarotonga for the holidays with her daughter, Edna, who lives and works as a nurse in Australia. Edna and my mom became great friends since they have so much in common with their work, children, etc.

The guest house is managed by Mama’s son Atua and his wife Mata, who stopped by every day to chat and bring bread from the family bakery. Mata helped us learn some of the local ways – such as harvesting, cleaning and cooking Tapioca root. She also graciously offered to make some of the leis for our wedding ceremony and found numerous other ways to spoil us and make us feel like part of the family. And because so many Cook Islanders were home for the holidays, family members were constantly dropping by to fill the house with activity and conversation. It’s was such a pleasure to be around a big family who welcomed us with open arms. We learned so much from our conversations with Edna, Mama, Atua and Mata about the island culture, ancestry ties and way of life. We couldn’t have planned it better!

Preparing For the Big Day

While we did have some down time for relaxing, hiking, swimming and sunbathing, we spent a good part of our first week on the island getting ready for the wedding ceremony on Jan 1. We had booked most everything online – so were hoping with fingers crossed that the arrangements would live up to our expectations. And we weren't disappointed! We stopped by the 5 beach houses we rented for the occasion and they are in a fabulous location on a lovely beach. There are BBQ areas, picnic tables, kayaks, snorkel gear and the houses are well equipped with kitchen stuff, TVs and DVDs, and even a small stereo. The best part are the wooden decks and dining tables that overlook the beach and the ocean. The setup is perfect for a memorable holiday and wedding!

We also met with the reception planner at Muri Beach Club Hotel where we would have our wedding dinner. The restaurant overlooks a lovely lagoon and a few small islands and has a nice beach. Our planner promised to set the ambiance with candles, a fine dining menu complete with cake and champagne, and tunes played by a local musician. This is also where Eric and I would spend our wedding night in a room looking out on the ocean!

And finally, mom was quite the trooper motor biking with me around the entire island and stopping at all the little shops and markets to look for some fun souvenirs to get for everyone – and a few goodies for ourselves too. We had only one little incident with the motorbike…when I ran us into a bush while turning (going at a very slow speed thank goodness) and we tipped over. I got a skinned knee and mom was a bit sore, but we recovered pretty well. After our little accident, we decided the first bike we had rented was too big and went and got me a smaller one that I could handle better. And I'm happy to say that with a bit more practice, I had no further run ins…though I did still make Eric (who’s a much better driver) take mom when the three of us would go for an outing.

Making It Legal

While we had hoped to have Eric’s dad, Jeff, do the legal and symbolic pieces of the wedding ceremony, we found out on our arrival that it would entail getting Jeff licensed in the Cook Islands...which is quite a complicated process. Therefore, we had to officially get married several days after our arrival (due to closing hours over the holidays and wanting the tax break from the US govt for 2007).

While filling out our marriage application at the Ministry of Justice, we had to basically beg the big boss woman to marry us since we had no idea how we were going to otherwise find someone ordained in our time frame. She was a grumpy old lady named Marie who gave us quite the hard time. But to our relief, she did agree to marry us and even cracked a brief smile and a joke – telling Eric he would need to clean up and shave before she’d marry us.

We needed two witnesses…we had my mom as one, and asked Edna at the guest house to be our second. And of course we also invited Mama Turi. They happily agreed to join in the ceremony and made the day very special for us. We had just planning to go in, say the legal vows, sign the papers and save the sentimental bit for the big wedding day. But Mama and Edna would not have it so.

Eric and I decided to buy me a simple white, linen dress for the occasion and we got Eric a proper island shirt complete with palm trees and beach scene. Mama made us flower leis – one for Eric and a head ei for me. And she made a chain of flowers for the car, which Edna decorated. The time was set for Thursday at 3PM. We spent the morning relaxing and contemplating the fact that we were about to legally “sign our lives away.” It was a stress free day…until about 15 mins before we needed to leave when we realized we had a few small alterations to my new dress. Mom saved the day with some needle and thread in record time and we were out the door and on the way.

When we arrived, we were escorted into a conference room with a long wooden table. Stoic Marie instructed us to sit across from her with one witness on each side…Mama Turi took a seat at the end of the table to observe from a distance. After the very formal introduction, we were asked to rise, clasp right hands and repeat a series of very serious and legal sounding vows (e.g., “I solemnly declare there is no legal reason to my knowledge that I should not marry you”). We were overcome with emotion at the importance of this moment, but also couldn't help cracking a smile at the contrast of the very legal sounding vows to the very personal ones we planned to say to each other on Jan 1. We laughed, we got a bit teary, we exchanged rings, we embraced, and of course Eric kissed his bride (even though Marie didn’t instruct to do so). Mama Turi was streaming tears at the end of the table, and of course so were my mom and Edna…and I think Marie was even pleased to see that we took our commitment seriously. We signed the paperwork, got the international stamps to make it legal worldwide and completed the “official” part of our marriage.

To celebrate, we went out for lunch at a nice restaurant on the beach with stunning views – and we took a dozen more photos. It was perfect. After a quick rest at home, we finished off the day with an “island night” at a local restaurant. We had an island feast and watched a show of island dancing – even got up to do some dancing myself with our guest house host Atua, who had stopped by with some family members. It was a wonderful and very special day.

And this day made us even more excited for our “real” wedding day when we will be surrounded by family and friends, saying our own personal vows, with my dad walking me down our beach aisle, Eric’s dad performing a more spiritual and meaningful ceremony, and of course getting to wear my more fancy wedding dress! Updates and dozens more photos to come so stay tuned!